Love Where You Are, and Relish the Journey

Nancy KalinaWere you one of those kids who asked your parents “Are we there yet?” a few hundred times on vacation? I was.

I think many of us still ask the question “Are we (or am I) there yet?” However, the destination may not be the beach or Disney World. Now, the destination is a successful business, an awesome career that fulfills your soul, a phenomenal relationship, your dream home, or the quest for personal growth. We are all heading in a direction that we are sure ends with a finish line, except it doesn’t. We have destination addiction! Many of us have bought into the myth that if we work hard and spend enough time and money that one day we will be there. Where is there? I’ll tell you a secret: there is no there. There is only now. Don’t get me wrong. I believe in dreaming and following your dreams. However, it is counterproductive to believe that there is a finish line when you have launched a successful business, created a work of art, finished your book, or found the ideal, intimate relationship. We can’t cross a line and arrive at success, happiness, or victory. The truth is that life is filled with moments of success, happiness, and achievement. Yet, we forget to acknowledge these as they happen because we focus on some large, in-the-future mythological prize.

Earlier on in my life-coaching career, I signed up for a class from two great Martha Beck–certified master coaches. The class consisted of new coaches who had finished their initial training and were on the path to create successful businesses as life coaches. I will never forget what one of the wise teachers said to the group. She stated, “Don’t wish this time away.” In other words, don’t wish this time of struggle, filled with ups and downs, away. This is part of the process. Struggle is part of my process as a business owner, coach, and person. It is where much learning takes place. We must crawl before we walk, and we must walk before we run. I can guarantee that we all must fall and fail often before we become successful at whatever we are trying to achieve. I think this master coach was trying to remind us that we should be present with our current struggle. We should appreciate all the gifts and opportunities that come our way through every upset, every fall, and yes, every hiccup along the way. After all, each stumble and mistake is not a mistake at all. Mistakes are opportunities for learning that we can choose to integrate into our lives. If we choose to dive in and be present with everything our failures and struggles teach us, we will begin to understand that the entire journey is worth relishing. After all, when you get to the place you have dreamt of, it doesn’t mean your struggles are over and you’re immune to failure. It just means that you’ve learned to allow failure to be your teacher.

When I think about all my failures, I realize that each one has been fertile ground for learning. I learned so much from each person I dated, every job that did not work out, and each endeavor I undertook with great gusto only to be disappointed by the results: what I like and don’t like, what worked and didn’t work, how I wanted to be, and how to learn from each experience. Lastly, I learned the importance of creating a relationship, career, and life filled with intention.

Allowing failure to be your teacher can be said about any dream. Learn to love where you are. Each of us has our own unique paths to travel. So, if you are trekking toward a particular goal or your dream life, take time to enjoy the journey. Stop at the rest stops. Talk to some of the locals. Take in some of the sights. Be present with your expedition, and take time to notice and observe your surroundings. Be present with all the hills and valleys that you move through. Truly allow yourself to experience your grief when you stumble. It’s OK to stumble and fail, and it’s absolutely OK that you feel grief and sadness from disappointment. Afterward, get up, dust yourself off, and keep moving in the direction your heart is leading you. For the time being, enjoy the present moment and wherever you find yourself. I guarantee you are exactly where you are meant to be!


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The Power of Possibility

I’d also like to share Katy Perry’s awesome song, which I think is a beautiful reminder that there is no finish line and that maybe what’s best for each of us is to breathe, take in whoever is around us, and relish the moment, regardless of what the moment is. Enjoy the moment, and appreciate your all-inclusive journey!



Take a breath smile and say right here right now I'm ok


Until next time,

Safe Space Life Coaching

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