LifeNow Ministries Newsletter February 2014

Dealing with Self-Pity

          When Karen’s 17-year old daughter announced that she was expecting a baby, it shattered Karen’s world.  She immediately contacted all of her friends and asked them to pray for her.  She fell into a depression, couldn’t get out of bed in the mornings and kept saying over and over again, “I can’t believe she has done this to me, after all I’ve sacrificed for her.”  Over the next few weeks, Karen received a lot of attention from her friends who tried to minister to her and nurse her through her depression.  Meanwhile, Karen’s daughter, who had little support or attention, ran off with the father of the child. 
          At first glance it might appear that Karen’s problem was her daughter.  However, the truth is that Karen’s problem was her own struggle with self-pity.  Whenever we find ourselves in difficult situations in which we lack the confidence to cope, there is a tendency to see ourselves as a victim and deserving of sympathy.  The circumstance is always interpreted personally and the end result is a deep feeling of “poor me”.  The problem is that the sympathy we receive because of self-pity does not make us feel better or help us deal with whatever the difficult situation is, it usually fuels our negative feeling.  For this reason, self-pity is remarkably self-sustaining and often fuels depression.  It is a negative way of paying attention to self instead of others who may be in need.  It also encourages a focus on failure, hardship and loss that robs us of the energy to seek a positive solution.  Self-pity is used as a means of gaining attention from others and may develop in a person who feels rejected by family or peers.  In Christian circles the constant request for prayer because of some negative situation can be used to fuel self-pity. 
          American fiction writer John Gardner says “Self pity is easily the most destructive of the non-pharmaceutical narcotics;  it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality.”  John was involved in a farming accident as a child in which his younger brother was killed.  His comments about self-pity are not theoretical but experiential.  Shame, guilt and rejection can cause a person to develop a pattern of self-pity.  If we can communicate our negative circumstances in such a way that we gain the sympathetic attention of others, it creates the illusion that people really care about us.  However, feeling sorry for someone is not the same as caring about them. 
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Prison Ministry

This week alone, LifeNow corresponded with 17 inmates in 12 different states from Idaho to Texas.  3 Inmates completed the course and received a certificate, 4 inmates started the course and received a copy of the book and lesson 1, 2 inmates requested that a book be sent to a family member and 1 inmate sent a grade report from his coursework at Berean School of the Bible which is being funded by LifeNow.  The total cost of postage and books for this week alone was $72.14.  Would you consider sponsoring an inmate for $15?  DONATE HERE.

LifeNow Counseling

Bob & Terri Perdue are now providing counseling through LifeNow Ministries.  They provide Christian-based counseling for those dealing with:
  • difficult relationships
  • past abuse
  • depression
  • addiction
  • spiritual growth
  • negative thinking
For more information go to the online BROCHURE
Sessions are held at
8715 Plantation Lane Suite 302
Manassas, VA 20110
Email Bob to schedule an appointment

Failure or Victor?

Do you ever let your failures, inadequacies, weaknesses define you and feel like God has abandoned you?  Romans 8 says we are never failures but always conquerors!

35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

Follow this link for a quick video reminder!

Choose Intimacy

Moving toward an intimate relationship with God through spiritual disciplines frees me from empty religion and isolation!
Life Choice #9 from
Ten Life Choices
by Bob Perdue
Buy the book!

I see Jesus!

Concentrate on the four dots in the middle of the picture for 30 seconds and then look away at a blank wall.
LifeNow Ministries
13176 Bourne Place
Bristow, VA 20136
February 2014