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Something to Think About
Having vulnerability and being honest does not mean sharing all details with everyone. Sometimes others will have an expectation that we will be completely transparent with them, and that if we are good Christians, we will have nothing to hide.
This is not true. You have a right to share with people you trust in a way which feels appropriate and comfortable. It is important to not harbor secrets or shame for your own sake, and to find people who will help you carry your burdens. However, you get to choose who they are and when to share.
You also get to choose if that level of intimacy changes. Even if you have been completely open with someone in the past—you do not need to continue sharing everything.
Different relationships should have varying degrees of knowledge. We see the wisdom of this played out in Christ’s human relationships. He had different levels of intimacy during his ministry on the earth.
He spoke in parables to the crowds (Matthew 13:34), commissioned seventy with more knowledge (Luke 10:1-23), told the meanings of his parables to the twelve disciples (Matthew 13:10-11), and was often alone with just his three closest disciples: Peter, James and John (Mark 9:2). Finally, he sought God as his most intimate relationship.
The staff at Safe Place recently read “Becoming Elisabeth Elliot,” a biography about Elisabeth Elliot written by Ellen Vaughn. The author writes that Elisabeth understood this concept. Described as a young woman, Elizabeth “was the opposite of those of us who’ve thrown ourselves completely open to people who may or may not be trustworthy, yet have held God, the very Lover of our souls, at a discreet and dispassionate arm’s length.”
I pray for you to have wisdom as you contemplate different levels of intimacy in all relationships.
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