Cycle of Change Journey Continues
Life coaching is awesome! Can I just say that? I find myself on the cusp of Square Two these days in relation to my hip. This would be the dreaming and scheming phase of the Change Cycle. To be honest, shortly after my last e-newsletter, I felt myself in late Square One. Remember that I told you in my last e-newsletter that this is the part of Square One where you begin to have a love affair with your new identity. Who would think that I would be having a love affair with my body as it is today? What I find amazing is that when I was struggling the five years prior to my first hip replacement, I may have spent that entire five years in Square One grieving. I spent much time in denial. I was pissed off at what my body was going through. Sure, I made accommodations. I had used a cane in the past. I used a wheelchair toward the end and thought that I was pretty accepting of my situation. However, I see a radical difference between my mental and emotional state with this hip and my mental and emotional state with the last hip. With the first hip, I never fell in love with my current situation. I simply waited for the circumstances to change. In other words, I waited for my new titanium hip. I never thought of shifting my perspective to actually love what was happening in the moment and to see the beauty of what was happening. I have allowed for that shift this time around, and it has been a blessing.
First, let me catch you up. When I last touched base with you all, I was about to head into mulch madness. I thought you may want to know the results. Mulch madness was amazingly successful from every point of view. The garden looks awesome. My partner and I finished in record time, thanks to amazing help from two fine friends. Additionally, I took on the job of spreading mulch this year instead of shoveling and pushing the wheelbarrow. This was different from what I anticipated doing. While I was sore, it was not excruciating. We finished spreading 10 yards of mulch (that’s a truckload) by 3 p.m. the first day! I was able to rest my body the next day, which was exactly what it wanted. However, I was not limping, and I was not dying. I was OK — withered and spent, but fine.
The Monday of Memorial Day weekend, I made the decision to cancel a trip that my partner, friends and I have been looking forward to for over a year. We were planning to go to the Lake District in England to celebrate my partner’s retirement. We were going to walk approximately eight miles every day. I had a long conversation with my body and came to the conclusion that I would prefer to do this at a time when my body was more up for the challenge. Currently, it is difficult for me to walk more than half a mile. I will begin using a cane soon for longer walks. Many might think cancelling would send me right back into the beginning of Square One, but it didn’t. Around the time that I was going to make the decision, things kept popping up that sounded interesting — things that would be happening at the same time as this England trip! I had been coached by a tremendous coach who challenged me to find other vacations that would make my heart sing that I could do in my current condition. All of this opened my eyes and heart to the possibilities. I began dreaming and wondering how we could replace such an awesome experience as two weeks in the Lake District, and to be honest, I found a way! I proposed my dreams to my partner and our two friends, and we are all fired up to still spend time together and to share in these other experiences that will be just as fun, but easier on my hip. So, life does not suck. As a matter of fact, it’s pretty awesome!
And to be honest, my situation has not changed. The only thing that has changed is my perception. I love that my hip has allowed me to view this experience through a life coaching perspective and through the Cycle of Change. I love the fact that this time around, I can go through the Cycle of Change organically instead of suppressing the grieving and getting stuck. What an eye-opening experience this has been. I can now say from personal experience that injury and illness can show us the way forward. They only hold us back if we choose to perceive our injury and illness as show-stoppers. I saw a great bumper sticker yesterday, which is a fitting way to end. It said, “Don’t believe everything you think!” I encourage my clients and myself to question our very thoughts regularly. If you do, you will liberate yourself to a myriad of possibilities!
What thoughts are you believing that are currently causing you stress?
Can you shift your perception?
Recently, I have come across Brené Brown. I had heard her name multiple times in the Martha Beck life coaching circle. Suffice it to say that I think she is a courageous, thoughtful soul who has a lot to offer the world as she tackles the dark emotions that get in the way of leading a fuller life. My friends and I will be seeing her in September at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, N.Y., as part of our replacement trip.
Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, is a nationally renowned speaker. Here is her 2010 TEDx Houston talk. I encourage you to pick up any of her books.
I would also like to share a movie that many of you may not know about. Kinky Boots is a little British movie released in 2005 that my partner and I saw almost by accident. Nonetheless, it has now been made into a successful Broadway musical with music by Cyndi Lauper. It just won Tony Awards for Best Musical, Best Score, Best Choreography, and Billy Porter won for Best Male Performer in a Musical. I encourage you all to search and locate a copy of this DVD and watch it! It’s a great story about being true to oneself. Here is the link for the movie. Additionally, I am adding the link for the Broadway musical.
As usual, Ralph Marston always comes along to validate and affirm what I am going through on any particular day. Thank you, Ralph. I am ever so grateful for your slide shows!
Until next time,
Safe Space Life Coaching