Nurture Your Process of Change

Being authentic takes practice. Being authentic is a choice. Living a life where my social and essential selves are aligned is a choice. I have consciously made these choices in my life. However, there is making a choice and then there is following through.

Nancy Kalina

I tell my clients that through life coaching, they are constantly creating new habits, new ways of perceiving the world and new ways of responding to life circumstances. As I tell my clients this, I am giving myself reminders of this lesson at the same time. That’s a good thing because I am human and I revert back to my old thought patterns and routines easily. I think we all do.

Recently, I realized that I had forgotten that making the decision to live an intentional and fully integrated life is a process. It’s not just a decision that instantly produces the perfect life. It’s an ongoing process and path that I have chosen where I will continually be learning and uncovering new phenomena about myself.

Our bodies are speaking to us constantly, sending us messages. My problem is that I don’t always listen to my body, though I am getting better. When I was going through life-coach training, we spent a good portion of time discussing the body and how it communicates with us. Our essential selves speak to us primarily through our bodies. The Body Compass (a core mind-body tool with Martha Beck life coaches) is central to my life-coaching practice. However, I had gotten lazy about using it in my own life. I wasn’t checking in regularly. It wasn’t that I stopped checking in because I thought that I did not need to any longer. What happened was that I reverted to my old methods. I allowed myself to grow distant from my essential self simply by not making the time to listen to the messages from my body.

Our bodies produce many different sensations. Each and every one of us has a body that is tailor-made for us. Therefore, our bodies and how they communicate to us vary from person to person. While we may share some similarities, we are all unique, and, as such, our body’s method of communicating with us as an individual is also unique. For example, I have discovered that I can experience “good butterflies” and “bad butterflies.” I experience “good butterflies” when I am excited about something. I may feel “bad butterflies” when I am anxious or nervous about something else. Since I have been re-introduced to my body through the Body Compass tool, I can now tell the difference between the two types of butterflies. I found this to be truly fascinating. What I have also discovered is that not everyone senses butterflies. It’s simply not the way their essential self communicates with them. Similarly, some people get headaches and some people don’t. Each body has its own communication system that it uses to connect and inform the person who inhabits that body.

You see, while we may learn about the various physical attributes of our bodies when we are young or while we are growing up, no one teaches us about how important it is to listen to what this amazing part of our consciousness has to say. Yes. I said consciousness. Stephen Kiesling states that both science and medicine are proving that “the ‘intelligence’ packed into every cell of the body is mind boggling, and the primary business of our brains is motor activity. Meanwhile, both scientists and theologians are wrestling with evidence that our consciousness, and perhaps even our souls, are properties that emerge from our bodies.” Needless to say, Martha Beck and all her wonderful master coaches taught us this in class. What I had forgotten was the obvious: my thought patterns and routines are not going to change overnight. I have only been life coaching for 20 months, while I have been living my life with all my habits and thought patterns for 48 years! Anyone who has tried to keep a New Year’s resolution, which involves either starting a new habit or stopping an existing habit, knows how difficult this can be.

The practice of listening to my body for its crucial and fundamental information is a habit that I must create, nurture and cultivate if I choose to live a life where my social self and essential self are in alignment. And like any new habit, it takes time, practice and regularity.

So, I fell off the bandwagon. The great news is that I am aware that I fell. Now, I have a choice. I can continue to tune out my body and remain disconnected from my essential self, or I can get back up, dust myself off, and acknowledge that changing habits is a process and not something I do overnight. This is a way to accept what is and not beat myself up for falling off the wagon. It happens. I choose to get back up and continue on my path to leading a life in which my social self and my true nature are working together to support me to be my best self.

What new habit have you gotten away from lately? What might you implement to get back on track?


Sharing Corner

This quote was on my calendar this morning. I thought it was appropriate with what I was trying to share.

“The unfortunate thing about this world is that good habits are so much easier to give up than bad ones.”
             — Somerset Maugham
                (British playwright, novelist and short-story writer)

It is time to share another recipe with you again. My partner and I found this one recently and loved it. So, for all of you who like meat, enjoy!

Honey Mustard Pork
Serves four and is 264 calories per serving

    1 lb. pork tenderloin
    1 T fresh, chopped rosemary
    1 tsp. minced garlic
    1 tsp. lemon zest
    1/2 tsp. salt
    1/3 C lemon juice
    1/4 C honey
    2 T Dijon mustard
    1/2 C low-fat half-and-half
    1 T flour
    1/4 tsp. cinnamon

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Combine rub ingredients and evenly coat pork loin. Place pork in a roasting pan lined with foil. Mix lemon juice, honey, and mustard. Place 1/4 C of mixture in a saucepan for later. Brush 2 T of remaining mixture onto pork and bake for 25-30 minutes, basting two or three times with remaining sauce. In a small bowl, whisk half-and-half, flour and cinnamon. Heat saucepan mixture and gradually whisk in half-and-half mixture. Cook and whisk until sauce thickens. Serve over pork.




As I have said a number of times, I can always find a Ralph Marston slide show that blends with my current e-newsletter.

I hope you all enjoy this one.

Feel free to share how you get back on your own track! I would love to hear!


Until next time,

Safe Space Life Coaching

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