We hate to be the ones to tell you this.
But you stink.
You've been perfuming over your problems and grievances for too long, and there's no better time to rid yourself of your inescapable, undeniable, metaphorical stench, than now.
Enter: Dirty Laundry.
A 1950's Laundromat inspired pop-up promising a retro Italian-Americana theme, you can expect weird-but-wonderful cocktails, tasty eats, DJs and quirks aplenty on the night, including a vintage Polaroid photo booth and servings of alcoholic jelly 'liqui-tabs'.
Hosted by the charismatic Signoria Bubbles from a location in the heart of central London, the night will see specially modified washing machines mixing up an experimental range of tipples, sipped out of customised detergent bottles. Authentically sloppy pizza and Italian arancini will be served, and before the DJ-heavy party affair begins, you'll get a chance to flirt with the hottest pizza delivery guy in town, Marco.
But enough on Marco. Let's get back to you airing your many, many issues.
Have a little chat with Signoria, let her know your best/embarrassing/shameful secret or painful niggling gripe, and she'll get it printed onto your very own Dirty Laundry t-shirt.
So you can remember it, forever.
Dirty Laundry is taking place for four nights only between 24th-27th June, located at 14 Percy Street, W1T 1DR. Entry only tickets before 7pm are just £5. Later entry plus a washing machine cocktail are £15.