Name Change - Game Change
Reminder! This Monday is the March Reading Room. You can still get a seat if you like. I'll do a reading just for you. And this will be the last month for the Reading Room. Well, in its current incarnation anyway. I took a masterclass that has given me things to think about. One thing that will change is I will offer you a way to schedule. It's hard to sit there while others are getting their readings.
HELP! I'm putting out a call for spread guinea pigs on my Patreon. I need to see if a couple of spreads meet my criteria for public use. The post is public so you can also share it if you know someone who might need a reading. Speaking of Patreon, the March Tarotscopes will be going up this weekend. Ready for your monthly mantra?
Despite the subject of this newsletter, the change is not about the reading room. I wanted to tell you the story of my name. I was not born Stephanie Arwen. GASP! IMPOSTER!
I was born with two names. My first name and my last name. This was a trial for a child in the inquisitive realm of childhood. "What's your name?" What's your middle name?" "It must be really awful if you won't tell."
Then the guessing games start. "Wilhemina" "Gertrude" "Hyacinth" While none of those names are awful in my adult mind, they were truly terrible as an eight-year-old. I remember going home to my mother to cry, "Why didn't you give me a middle name?"
My mother looked at me for a moment, then responded, "Because your first name has three syllables." I paused then pointed at my sister and carefully pronounced "RE GI NA THERESE!!!" Mama, a Scorpio, laughed. "I changed my mind."
So there I was. A child with only two names. And I desperately wanted a middle name. I adopted Naomi as my first middle name. I thought Stephanie Naomi had a nice ring to it. I'd tried Sue and Lynn, but they didn't fit who I wanted to be. In my child's mind, they were too plain, too "UGH everyone has that as a middle name" complete with a standard eye-roll. By the way? I'm still a professional eye-roller.
Then I went to Girl Scout camp as a counselor. My very first camp name was Arwen. Sidenote, that didn't last. I was called Sarge once by a dad during a Dads and Daughters weekend. That name stuck like bubble gum in hair. Still, I loved Arwen.
A few years down the road, I joined what would become my spiritual home--Children of the Laughing Greenwood. When I was told about choosing a Circle name, Arwen didn't come up at first. My first choice was Ting. That's the I Ching hexagram 50, the Cauldron. Witchy right? But it didn't fit numerically. As I tinkered with choices, I kept coming back to Arwen. But Arwen also didn't fit. My High Priestess, Lhianna Sidhe, told me that my name didn't have to be just one name. So I became Arwen Nightstar. That Inner Circle name is now an Outer Circle name.
I found that as Arwen I seemed to have more flexibility in whom I could be. As the years went by, there was a definite split between Stephanie and Arwen. Stephanie was the businesswoman, the corporate worker, the mundane me. Arwen was my witchy self, my queer persona, me in every walk of my life other than the one that pertained to the day J-O-B.
So Arwen became my ME name. But it wasn't legally my name. That happened only a few years ago when my husband unit funded a legal name change. I added Arwen as my middle name. It pleases me to no end to be able to tell people that Arwen is my name.
Did it, as I intimated in the header, change the game for me? In a way, yes. In a way, no. The no was that it didn't change how I see myself or how I act. The yes is that it gave me an opportunity to present my inner self as my outer self.
Have you ever wanted to change your name, <<First Name>>?
I am so glad that I adopted Arwen so many years ago (1985ish).
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