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What would Ted Lasso do?

Are you a Ted Lasso fan? If you haven't seen the Ted Lasso comedy series on Apple+, I HIGHLY recommend it. Not many shows on television these days add value to our everyday lives, but this one does. It is currently in it's 2nd season. I have lost count of how many times we have played the last 2 minutes of this scene for our boys. The message is simple and meaningful. Please take a moment to watch it (heads up: explicit language).

What did you notice after watching that scene? Chances are good you felt some kind of warm-hearted sensation by the end of the clip. There are many reasons why this series has caught the attention of many. There is something very important to be learned here. For this month's Adventure in Well-Being, I want to share a few relatable and practicable takeaways from the lens of resilience and well-being.

Ted models what we call Radical Kindness - a far-reaching form of kindness that in all it's fullness, requires us to be curious, not judgmental - to everyone, including ourselves. That's why it's so radical! The act of radical kindness disarms us from our defenses, our opinions, our tribes, our inner critic, our limiting beliefs...all of the things that we hold near and dear and try to protect. But it begs the question, what is it that we are protecting? What are we afraid will happen if we drop some of our armor?

Radical Kindness says I'm brave enough to care for YOU and still feel confidently ME (this is what Dr. Daniel Siegel calls "integration of the brain made visible"). All too often we can fall into the trap of thinking that offering compassion takes something away from who we are or what we stand for; however, the science says the opposite. Compassion (and self-compassion) is a sign of integration, well-being and resilience on a neuronal level! We benefit from practicing radical kindness - it builds us up, makes us whole, and helps us feel connected.

Many of us admire Ted because he's actually doing it - he models what we know we need more of - from ourselves and from others. Why is it such a struggle to live in that radical way? Well, because it is part of the human condition. Our complicated internal world collides with the uncertain external world every second of every moment. Things can get messy...but there is always an opportunity to find the good. Ted shows us what is possible when we are brave, embrace change, and truly want to help others be the best version of themselves.

Here are some practical ways to cultivate radical kindness in your daily life through the science-backed skills of Awareness, Insight, Connection, and Purpose. Remember, well-being takes practice.

AWARENESS:
The mental exercise of Meditation is one of the most effective practices to strengthen compassion and clarity. I am very excited to share that one of my favorite meditation apps 10% Happier is currently offering a FREE meditation challenge - Ted Lasso style. Join now!

INSIGHT:
With a gentle curiosity, ask yourself - what are my obstacles to being radically kind, with myself and with others? Is there something I am trying to protect, avoid, or dismiss? What would it look like/feel like to loosen my defenses? Am I open to change?

CONNECTION:
The next time you feel annoyed, angered, or critical of someone, pause and say to yourself something like, "just like me he has a mom", "just like me she has somewhere to go", "just like me she gets confused" and so on. It's helpful to remember with humility that we share more similarities on a core level than our first reaction often allows us to see.

PURPOSE:
Purpose is the "Why?" behind the things we do. Take a moment to pause and reflect (or journal) on where you are going with this compassion thing. Could you benefit from some course correction? If so, what's your motivation to do so? Write it down somewhere and post it where it's a visible reminder to you about what matters.

A side note for those of you who are nauseated by Ted's cheerful character, you will see more of Ted's humanity come to the surface in Season 2. I'm thankful the writers are making Ted more relatable, helping to normalize how difficult it can be to navigate this thing we call life.

Quote of the month:

"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible."
- His Holiness the Dalai Lama

It feels good to be back! I took the summer off to take care of my family. Which in all honesty means I take on the role of Uber driver, quick order chef and making summer wishes come true. However sandwiched in between the hustle and bustle there was time...Time to feel grateful for happy sweaty summer bodies, time to cherish the conversations of long drives, time to marvel at the blaze orange sunsets only summer nights bring. I hope the fond memories of summer linger for you as well. I look forward to continuing our Adventures in Well-Being together through the fall and new year.

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Contact:
jenvanrossum@5peakslife.com

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