What I meant earlier about 'should' and it being a dangerous word, is that there's a presumption that you're somehow incomplete if you haven’t ticked off the expectations you had of yourself. That you've let yourself down for not following through the lifestyle you dreamt up when you were fourteen. Or at twenty-three, or thirty-five, or even six months ago. When in reality, all those expectations were simply not meant to be a part of the ebb and flow that's currently creating your present.
If anyone knows me, they'll know the prayer I often make is for whatever's meant to be good for me, to stay and for Allah to remove what's bad and replace it with something better. And though I make that prayer every night, that doesn't necessarily always make the act of letting things go, feel any easier. However, it's the act I'm most grateful for, Alhamdullilah. The bathing in the temporary.