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C.U.S.P. Newsletter, informative news and notes for Single Parents.
C.U.S.P. (Commited to Uplifting Single Parents)

C.U.S.P. Newsletter

Our Mission: It is our mission to empower and assist single parents with the difficult challenges of parenthood through a range of financial and social services which will allow them to provide safe and loving homes for their children. 

About Us: C.U.S.P. (Committed to Uplifting Single Parents) a  501(c)(3) nonprofit organization providing connections to resources, social services and wealth building programs for single-parent families in the Los Angeles area and its surrounding communities.  
               
               

 
  
 
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SINGLE  PARENTING

 

What’s Your Definition Of ‘Single Parent’?

 

        - Jackie Pilossoph, Contributor
 
I’m pretty sure all divorced men and women call themselves a single parent. Whether it is someone who sees their kids every other weekend for just a few hours or a person who sees their children every single day (with no break and no help from the ex) or anyone in between, they will all say to others, “I’m a single parent.”

A single parent, in my opinion, is a mom or dad who is not in a marriage or who is a widow or widower. Being a single parent means that when you are with your kids (however much that is), you are solely responsible for them. That means everything from getting them dressed and ready for school in the morning, feeding them, bandaging wounds and hearing a teen girl’s boy problems to being their lifelong teacher and instilling in them good values, healthy habits, and right from wrong.

When you are a single parent, you are all alone during your parenting time. There is no partner there to bounce things off of, ask advice on how to handle certain things, deal with the kids fighting with each other, handle an extreme kid meltdown or even to deal with the mouse in the house that has your kids standing on chairs screaming.

While I’m not diminishing the value of the single parent who shares custody with an ex, I do have to say one thing: at least you get some time off to regroup. I know some single parents who really have it rough: the ones whose ex-spouse are not in the kids’ lives at all. Let’s call them VERY single parents. Here are some issues they face:

1. Financial stress.

Lots of times, if the ex is out of the picture physically, then he or she is not contributing anything financially.

2. Emotional stress.

How do you explain to a kid that Daddy (or Mommy) moved away and chose to have a life without seeing you anymore? I can’t even imagine the stress and the pain that comes with that conversation.

3. No freedom. 

Being a VERY single parent doesn’t leave much time for a social life, especially if your kids are young. Babysitters can be expensive, and sometimes it’s hard to find people you trust to stay with your kids, not to mention the guilt single parents face (which is very unproductive and not rational, but I’ve been there) for leaving the kids to go out for dinner with your friends or on a date.

4. The stress of responsibility.

Knowing you are solely responsible ALL THE TIME for every decision that will affect your children is very very stressful. It’s a lot of pressure and responsibility for one person.

I have the utmost respect for every single parent out there. It isn’t easy. But here is the upside. What is even harder is living with a spouse when your relationship is unhealthy and toxic, right? (Read on)
 

 

The Ex Files


- Meagan Francis and Ilisa Cohen
 

Suck It Up and Get Along with Your Ex

When my divorce was new, talking with my ex-was painful. We were angry at each other, and, let's face it, looking for ways to hurt each other. But no matter how right I felt I was, deep down in my heart, I knew: Being in constant fight mode was horrible for my kids, and it was making me even more miserable. You have an obligation to your kids to stay friendly -- or at least civil -- with your former spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend. But this is easier said than done. So, I tried my hardest and used the greatest gift to divorced/broken up parents everywhere: e-mail. Hashing out sensitive topics this way allowed me to cool down before responding. "Sleep before you send," advises New York City family-law specialist Peter Bienstock. "Read the e-mail again in the morning, and make sure it says exactly what you mean." Don't be snide, angry, or sarcastic. Try for a pleasant and courteous tone even if you don't feel that way. It's easy to fake it electronically.

...and Stop the Trash Talk

It's absolutely critical that you take the high road and don't bad-mouth your ex in front of the kids, Whatever hers/his flaws, your kids love their mom/dad with all their heart. But what about when your ex doesn't show up for visits or blows off child-support payments and actually makes your kids' lives miserable? It's good to acknowledge your child's feelings as long as you don't add anger to your empathy, You can say "I know it's hard that Mom/Dad couldn't come again this Wednesday," but leave out the "That jerk has always been irresponsible!" comments.

As if this advice isn't tough enough to follow, you've also got to keep yourself from making negative comments to your friends, mother, or next-door neighbor if there's even a chance that you'll be overheard by your kid. A sleeping child has a way of appearing out of thin air -- just when you're cursing out his mom/dad. Remind yourself that each time you keep quiet, you're causing your child a little less pain.
 

 

 
 

 


In accordance with our mission to provide you with the best in support services, we are very excited to tell you that C.U.S.P. has partnered with Apprisen.


, a professional provider of financial counseling who has serviced families all across the United States for nearly 60 years. Apprisen's mission is to help people improve their financial well-being through counseling, community outreach, and financial education.
(Get Started)

 

A free e-book is written just for you. 

Download a free copy now and you will find answers to many of your most urgent personal finance questions.


 


C.U.S.P. continues to strive to connect you with resources that allow you to live YOUR BEST LIFE! We are happy to have these partnerships and look forward to your success. 


 

Across South Los Angeles and neighboring cities, people just like you are proving you can start small and think big. South LA Savers are setting financial goals, tracking their spending and taking control of their financial future. Our tips and tools can help you set goals, develop strategies to reach those goals, and start saving. Now is the time! Take financial action today! “Start small, think big” and make your dreams a reality! Enroll in South LA Saves today!

 
Inner City Youth Empowerment (ICYE): A youth empowerment initiative of C.U.S.P. Inc. a 501c3 nonprofit organization based in Los Angeles, CA. ICYE utilizes a variety of strategies to engage youth and young adults ages 12-25. ICYE will provide classes, seminars, conference, and collaborate with other community organizations on programs and events. We will also share tools, tips, and resources.

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815 N. La Brea Ave. #485 Inglewood, CA 90302 







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C.U.S.P. (Commited to Uplifting Single Parents) · 815 N. La Brea Ave. #485 · Inglewood, CA 90302 · USA

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