Supporting Mums through Social Media, Text & Email
Lesley Ibbotson NCT Breastfeeding Counsellor

This article is an opportunity to think about the way we communicate with mums and is designed to open this topic up for discussion on the Cornwall Group page – let us know what you think, what you have found works well and maybe something which you suggest others might avoid!  The way we communicate has changed so much in a very short time and before we open up the conversation to you about some of the practicalities of communicating in this way,  it might be interesting to think about the challenges and Opportunities...

There are many opportunities to engage with mums using electronic means and this is part of its appeal to us all as peer supporters.

• It is accessible and although not exactly free, its cost is spread across the general ‘technology’ budget for a lot of homes.  It can be seen as an ‘essential’ for younger parents and so the technology needed (smart phones or tablets/computers) are afforded before other things which an older generation might consider more important.
• Supporting mums in this way can be across a wider socio-economic/age group than previously possible if relying on personal contact alone.
• It could be argued that getting discussions going via social media can normalize breastfeeding.
• It certainly gives us an opportunity to be pro-active in doing so.
• It is helpful to be able to post links and pictures to illustrate something we are trying to get across so can help those of us who ‘learn’ in a combination of different styles.
• The relative anonymity of electronic contact can be freeing to mums and so they can be less reticent about how they are feeling – this can also work on the flip side and present challenges to us and how we support.
• The act of writing something down in a text or email can have a reflective power, which enables that mum to have some insight into her concern or problem.
• Less Intrusive?

In terms of electronic contact with mums challenges certainly exist:

• Our boundaries – where are they when we have access to our communications at all times?
• Do we get more ‘crisis’ contacts where because it is so easy to contact people at all times of the day/night?
• What about the pressure to reply? Can this pressure to reply be within us? Does the mum expect a reply to a contact late at night or is she just asking while she has the time to put her thoughts together?
• How can we manage that expectation of reply?
• Is there a generational gap?
• Loss of all our navigational aids – tone of voice, body language
• Can we read between the lines or misinterpret?
• How do we replace the loss of those aids? What about the language we use?
• More intrusive?

Does your Peer Support Group have a Social Media/Electronic communication ‘guide’ – some of the larger charities have developed their own guidance and it may be possible to get hold of a copy to start the discussion about how Cornwall Peer Supporters want to appear when using electronic means to communicate with mums.

Revisiting some of our Peer Support training can help when thinking about how to respond to mums posts for help & support

• Take care to accept the mum’s feelings – criticising or judging will not help her
• Share information rather than give advice – signpost and/or suggest
• Separate our feelings/beliefs/experience from the mums
• ‘Listen’ to any negativity about her experience with others – accept that experience and offer alternatives in a positive way without agreeing with or undermining the other support – which might have been misinterpreted.