Too much information for any of it to have real impact. 
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Cooooooooeeeeeeeee Everyone.
Get yourself settled, tHere’s a lot of pretty exciting nEws In this email*, so brace yourseLves. There’s newS of a new show, a request for bootlegs (awkwardly enough), soMething about a benefit gig, a plug for A show which i liked a lot and a nudge about a couple of remaining dates on the film touR where more tickeTs have just become available. There is also maY be a subliminal message in this email but I doubt very much that you’ll spot it.
Probably don’t worry about it. I shouldn’t have brought it up, it’s nothing imPortant.
Lets get reAl.
Lets get on a real tip.
Lets make it real and after we’ve doNe thaT letS keep it real.
I am writing a new show for The Everyman Theatre in Liverpool.
It’s on for two weeks in May and will probably be something between a story telling show and a one man play – Here’s the blurb. 
Mouse  -  The Persistence of an Unlikely Thought.
A New Show by Daniel Kitson
A few years ago, quite suddenly, I thought of something.
Something unlikely.
An implausible story about a mouse.
Since then, whenever starting a new show, faced with the empty page and the endless possibility and the looming deadline I have tried and failed to find a way of telling that particular story. Every structural gambit or presentational conceit feeling both oddly insufficient and insufficiently odd.  And so, every time, eventually, I’ve abandoned the mouse and I’ve moved on. I’ve had a different idea, for a different story and I’ve written a different show.
This time was no different, again I wanted to tell that story and again I didn’t know how.
And then, quite suddenly, I thought of something else.
Something equally unlikely.
An implausible story about a phone call.
And here we are.
Daniel Kitson – London – 17th February 2015.
Currently thirty eight years old and still not entirely bald, Daniel Kitson returns to the Everyman Theatre with a massive white board (possibly), an angle poise lamp (probably) and the world premiere (definitely) of a brand new show about, friendship and loneliness, doubt and hope, a mouse, a phone call and the unfathomable repercussions of everything we ever do.
I’m really excited about it to be honest. I’m excited about the show and the ideas I have for it, I’m excited about the possibilities in the staging, I’m excited about spending a lump of time in Liverpool (weirdly) and I’m very excited about doing a show at the Everyman. If you’ve never been to the Everyman, it’s bloody lovely. It got knocked down and rebuilt in the last few years in order to (I think) improve disabled access and upgrade the facilities in general. They rebuilt it using a load of the original bricks and wood which they kept when they knocked it down and have rebuilt the auditorium to (again, I think, but don’t know that this is true) the same dimensions as it previously was, so its this lovely combination of a new and old building at the same time. I like it a lot.
Tickets will be £12 and go on general sale from March 23rd. However, there is a priority booking period for Everyman members and DKMLD** which is already happening – you’ll need this code – MOUSEDK16 – and you can book, in person, on the phone (0151 709 4776) or online at -
Okay, that’s one down. Next, the film tour -
There are around 200 more tickets available for the screening of It’s Always Right Now Until It’s Later at Hebden Bridge Picture House. They were holding off on releasing the stalls in case they weren’t replaced (after the floods) in time for the screening but they’ve recently confirmed that the stalls will be in place. So. Loads more seats. The link is here -
There are also still seats available at the Lancaster Dukes screening, this isnt so much due to extra seats being released as it is the seats not selling. So, if you fancy it, you’d be entirely welcome.
I do think the film looks really lovely on a big walloping screen. Lancaster tickets here -
Okay guys, we are really cracking through this now.
There is a show on tour at the moment that I saw last year at the Battersea Arts Centre and absolutely bloody loved. It’s by a man called Sean Mahoney and it was one of those things that I was so keen to tell people about. It’s really impressive and funny and moving and fascinating. I really liked it. I had so much time for it in more than a few ways.
Here is the blurb
Told through spoken word and within timed boxing rounds, 'Until You Hear That Bell' is a story about amateur boxing and family. It's about doing something for ten years, and slowly getting good at it. Written and performed by Sean Mahoney, commissioned by and developed with Battersea Arts Centre.

You can get more details and the tour dates here -
Also, Rob Auton is on his first tour at the moment and if he is anywhere near you, you should stop being such a ding dong and go and see him. He’ll take the beauty and the sadness of everything and stuff it into you at once.
If that’s your thing.
Two more things to do.
At the Edinburgh Festival in 2014, I did a run of shows at the Stand Comedy Club with Gavin Osborn called “A series of things in a room”. It ended up being one of my favourite things that I’ve done with Gav and me doing all the lighting and sound cues ourselves and waddling around the room, doing a series of things. It had songs from Gav, with some backing music on cassettes. A little playlet by me, people had torches to shine on a glitter ball at one stage and I did some stand up that I really liked and never did again. It was a lovely show in the end and we did it a grand total of 7 times.
So – I was wondering if any of you (a) came to that show and whether (b) any of you made a naughty bootleg recording of the show that I can have? *** Also – while im at it – if any of you recorded the tour I did maybe 12 years ago where I spoke about my grandma dying – I wouldn’t mind hearing that either.
And finally – I’m doing some stuff as part of something called All Day Edinburgh****, it’s a very long benefit gig run and organized by Michael Legge in aid of Mind. He’s got a huge and amazing bill. It’s at the Phoenix which is a venue everyone seems to like. It starts at 1pm tickets are 20 quid for the whole thing and you can get them here -
And that is it.
It’s taken me an entire train journey to Liverpool on one those nauseating tilty bastards to type this. I hope it hasn’t taken you that long to read it. I really hope no one died whilst reading it. I wonder how many people die in the middle of reading emails every year.
Probably more than are killed by sharks.
*Exciting to broadcast certainly, maybe less so to receive. I hope this news is at least half as exciting to receive as it is to dole out, which must be how Micheal Burke once felt. These days of course, he’s busy knocking about with Melanie Phillips etc. or expressing his distaste for celebrities views on complex humanitarian crises or it seems, reportedly twerking on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here.  Complex guy.
**Daniel Kitson Mailing List Dweebs.
*** I swear down this isn’t a honey trap and im not working for the police.
**** It’s in London and doesn’t actually last all day – Obviously.
Copyright © 2016 Daniel Kitson, All rights reserved.

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