Title Nine… Or Is That Eleven? I Don’t Know, I Never Learned How to Read Roman Numerals:
Education secretary and member of one of the hundred richest families in America Betsy DeVos has proposed changes which would narrow the definition of sexual harassment used by Title IX and would limit the university’s ability to respond. And Duke is like, great, we literally do not care because we will just try those cases as something else. (I’m paraphrasing.) These proposed federal changes are open for public comment until the end of January, so really write Ms. DeVos a letter, and also feel grateful DeVos wasn’t your education secretary when we were kids so you and I can both read and write! Kind of!
Mama, I’m A Carbon Farm Now!
Duke has purchased a “carbon farm” in the pursuit of being carbon-neutral. I did some research and a “carbon farm” is, let’s be clear, just a giant, possibly rather expensive bog. Capitalism is really wild. Have y’all ever been out to Hyde County, where this thing is going? It’s good that Duke is doing this, but I guarantee the good people of Last Chance, N.C. (a real place in Hyde County) are having a mighty big laugh right about now. But honestly, if I don’t find a job in the next few months, you’ll find me living as a bog witch—whoops, I’m sorry, a carbon farmer—in Eastern North Carolina, before eventually becoming a mysterious mummified bog body—I mean, sorry, a human-shaped carbon sink. If there’s one thing Duke has taught me, it’s how to really exaggerate a resume!
“OK, Swastika Issue”:
"There isn’t a file on the computer that says, ‘OK, swastika issue.’” That’s a real quote from this article, and if you laughed at it, you’re a bad person, but so am I. So, how DOES Price decide to send those emails about… racial incidents? Turns out, he just kind of thinks about it, which is fair. I like to imagine the administrators having these big meetings about exactly how dumb Duke students are, and from there determine how much information to put in their emails about hurricanes and snow. I’m sure they really feel the weight of knowing that students would be totally uninformed about events in the world around them without receiving an email about it, and that the emails will be turned into a meme or roasted for a typo anyway. Wow, I guess the administrators and I aren’t so different after all...