Burn, Baby, Burn:
Will Duke divest from fossil fuel companies? Probably not, even though most people generally think it’s a good idea and some have been working on this for like four years. And why should Duke divest? Personally, I’m looking forward to killing and eating the very last sea turtle on the planet with my children in 2040. That is, if I don’t die from losing health insurance this year instead, haha! Guess we’ll see what happens in like two more years, both with my death and also if Duke divests, since we have a few more committees and recommendations to go through before our illustrious Board of Trustees considers the proposal.
Every Breath You Take, Every Move You Make, Duke Is Watching You!
Do you love sitting in the glass cube of Vondy while your peers and professors stare at your laptop screen and eavesdrop on your casual coffee meetings? Well, if that constant surveillance and monitoring is appealing to you, then maybe you’re one of the people who thinks we should have More Security Cameras. And you’re in luck, because it turns out that we actually have quietly installed 1,300 of them over the past three years! Wow!
We’re Really Still Doing This:
Yep, Hyde House, the organization formerly known as People Rejected From SLG Rush, (too mean?) is back at it with a LAWSUIT against DSG Senate. Now, I know what you’re saying: “Ms. Dirt… no one cares about this.” And I think you’re right, with the exception of two crucial audiences: people trying to form Hyde House, and student journalists. I have to be perfectly honest with you and confess that we at The Chronicle love a DSG judiciary lawsuit more than the smell of a fresh print edition. Stay tuned for the hearing today! I’ll bring the popcorn!