Maybe We Should All Just Like, Take a Gap Year From 2018:
A gap year! Apparently, high school is so stressful and busy that kids have to take a gap year to go find themselves in a foreign country for a year before coming to an elite college. Or something. Anyway, a family has now donated enough money for 15-20 students per year to take a FUNDED gap year before they come to Duke, starting with the class of 2023.
The People of Durham Are Benched Indefinitely:
The Central Campus courts and fields: not a place I have ever visited, despite having lived on Central for two years. I have a friend who exclaims “Who ARE those people?” every time we go by the basketball courts and there are a lot of games going on. And as you may have guessed, “those people” are sometimes not Duke students and Duke doesn’t want them here! Duke LOVES a Duke-Durham partnership. But not this one! Now you can enjoy your basketball and soccer games secure in the knowledge that you will not be troubled by the proletariat. Oh, other than the security guard who will ask you for your I.D. every time you step onto the court.
Literally Where Will You Be Living Next Year:
With the way my job search is going, I’ll probably be living under that weird bridge in Durham that’s too low and scrapes the tops off big trucks. My job will be jumping out at passing pedestrians, at least before I am eventually pushed into traffic by a billy goat more clever and cunning than I could ever hope to be. Anyway, if you guys are living on campus, you can find out where your section will be living here. RIP Central Campus!
Don’t Ever Talk To Me Or My Son Again:
Turns out, Rand Paul’s son is a sophomore at Duke, and his name is Robert. Cool, I guess? Rand Paul is best known for his failed presidential candidacy back in 2016. It’s really been a long two years. (Rand) Paul visited Duke this weekend and gave a talk! Okay! The Dirt is a non-partisan publication so we will not be making commentary on his speech! Anyway, Rand Paul also went to medical school at Duke, apparently, as did his father, Ron Paul, best known for his failed presidential candidacy in 1988, 2008, and 2012. Whoops, we’re back at politics again! Can’t get away from it with a name like R(obert/on/and) Paul! Quickly, though, what if your doctor was a libertarian? Just like, “no need to get a flu shot, son.” (That’s a real position Ron and Rand Paul hold!)