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THE CHRONICLE
April 29th, 2019

"The goal should be to persuade and enlighten, not assert moral superiority." 

-Lena Yanella, on how you should approach political correctness.

911 What’s Your Emergency? 
Vodka. There were five calls to EMS this past O-Week, not too far off from the six calls during 2018’s O-Week and the four calls during 2017’s. Though VP for Administration Kyle Cavanaugh can't comment on the reason behind the calls, these annual calls are usually made for students who partied a liiiittle too hard. What other drama went down during O-Week, you may ask? Four students were caught underage drinking, seven students were caught violating other Duke alcohol policies, and three students were caught with drugs. Yikes! On the bright side, to many people’s surprise, there were no reported violations of IFC’s new ‘no freshman at O-Week frat parties’ rule. And that’s the tea.


Adversity for the Adversity Score
The SAT has officially done away with its newly proposed “adversity score.” The score was intended to be a numerical measurement of 15 factors of adversity from a students’ neighborhood and school life. It was gonna be used in college admissions as an attempt to even the playing field between students from different socioeconomic factors. Duke was on the docket of schools to incorporate this adversity score during admissions next year, along with 100 others. Some schools even factored the score in for their most recently accepted class. Buuuuuut people weren’t loving the idea, with many criticizing the SAT’s assumption that students’ life challenges can be quantified. Now, College Board is creating a new and improved program called Landscape, which will create a profile of socioeconomic data for each student rather than a combined score. We also wouldn’t complain if the SAT just…we don’t know…disappeared completely? Just sayin’.

Another Renovation…Shockerrrrrrr
Nothing new here. Duke has decided to renovate its 13 billionth building in the last year: The Admissions Building. It seems the school decided that after nearly 100 years of picking kickass kids, perhaps it’s time to give the ole’ Admissions team some love. The renovation will include a bunch of repairs, like modernizing the building’s mechanical, electrical, and plumbing systems, replacing the roof, improving the air conditioning and upgrading the foundation. During construction, most of the admissions staff will be relocated to the Noell building in American Tobacco Campus. The small portion of staff that interacts with the bright, beaming pre-freshmen that you all once were will be relocated to the brand-new Karsh Alumni and Visitors Center. How will those high school juniors ever resist Duke now when they start their tour in that shiny new building! 
I Saw R.J. Barrett wearing Puma, So I Bought Puma
Yep, you heard it here first. Now R.J. Barrett, Marvin Bagley, AND Selena Gomez are all repping Puma. The former Duke basketball player announced he’d be signing with the shoe giant yesterday, which didn’t come as a surprise to many after he sported Puma in his Knicks photoshoot and in the videos of him receiving his NBA 2K ratings. 

 
Beat ‘Bama, Blue Devils!
After saying ‘bye bye’ to three-year starting QB Daniel Jones, Dukies are wondering what the football team’s offensive attack will look like during Saturday’s game against No. 2 Alabama. So, what’s the new-look roster gonna be? Redshirt senior Quentin Harris will be taking over under center. Harris proved himself a rising star after starting twice last season in Jones’ spot, leading the Blue Devils to two wins. Duke also has two potential all-ACC rushers in the backfield with Harris. It's junior Brittain Brown, back from an injury, and Deon Jackson, who broke Duke’s single-game all-purpose yardage record last season. Finally, we can’t forget about Leonard Johnson, Josh Blackweel, and Michael Carter II, who all stepped up last season to step in for injured players. So we’ve got that going for us, which is nice… We also outlined a nice preview of our wide receivers and tight ends, and we’re feelin’ pretty good about ‘em.
 
If Gatorade Loves Her…
Then we do too! Meet Sophie Jones, a freshman who won the 2018-19 Gatorade National Girls Soccer Player of the Year award. Jones earned the prestigious title after 18 goals and 16 assists during her senior season. Not to mention she also won the California State Player of the Year. And the 2018 United Soccer Coaches youth Girls National Player of the Year. And she played with the FIFA U17 National team in 2017. Aaaaaand she trained with the U20 National Team at the end of her senior campaign. All we can say is, good to have ya, Jones.
We Have 4 Words for You: 3 AM Grilled Cheese
Pitchforks got an upgrade! The 24/7 eatery in the basement of Edens has been renovated for the new year, and opening day is tomorrow. It’s being renamed Pitchforks, since only noobs called it Café Edens (apologies to you if you called it that) and more importantly, its new look is bigger and better. In addition to being able to seat more hungry students than before, the menu was expanded and there will now be a hot bar offering daily specials. Even MORE importantly, there are now two cashiers instead of one to improve service time, because Duke knows that when you need your late-night grilled cheese, you need it STAT. And it doesn’t stop there. Duke plans to continue renovations of the restaurant in the Spring to expand the seating area into a glass enclosure. Not to worry, the project director promises students will still be able to nom at all hours while these finishing touches are made. 


For the 2023 Confused Newbies 
We did our best to make that rhyme, okay? If you’re in the Class of 2023, are you feeling a little confused about Greek Life, Selective Living Groups, and independent housing? Have no fear, it turns out your fellow newbies are in the same boat. Over the summer, we asked incoming “first-years” (we’re still confused about this new term….help) their most urgent questions, and tons of them revolved around student social life. So, we wanted to help. We answered all the big questions for you about rush, the Greek vs. non Greek social scene, and more right HERE. We also had some current students and alumni share their biggest pieces of advice to you on Twitter. We saved the best snippets for you right HERE! We ALSO put together a little guide of important peeps you should know on campus right HERE. We went above and beyond, we know, we know, stop flattering us!
We don't know about you....but alllll we've been able to think about this summer is brunch at Foster's. Glad to be back.
  1. The Exonerated Five: Two members of the Exonerated Five are coming to speak here at Duke on Monday at 7pm in Page Auditorium. There will be a second conversation the next day at 12:30 in the Duke Law School.
  2. Discover duARTS:  Come out to the Bryan Center tomorrow from 11am-2pm for art activities and to learn about duARTS--Duke's umbrella arts organization.
  3. Dance Council Fall Showcase: Tonight at 8pm in Page, come see Duke Council's Fall Showcase show off the diversity and talent of dancing Dukies.
  4. Momentum Dance Auditions: Come out to the Duke Arts Annex next Monday or Tuesday to show Momentum what you've got.
  5. Bull City Rumble: Come out to James Joyce Irish Pub on Saturday for a day full of food, drinks, and motorcycles. It's a sight you'll wanna see.

The Dirt
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