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THE CHRONICLE
September 19th, 2019

"Stop getting defensive, start learning" 
- Ami Wong, on call out culture

Dukies off the Dean’s List
Remember when Duke made Econ 101 pass/fail starting this semester? Same, ‘cause we’re still mad that wasn’t an option for us when we cried ourselves to sleep before our 101 midterms. Turns out, there’s a tradeoff. Although first-years who take Econ 101 pass/fail this semester will be able to count it towards an Econ major or minor, they will not be eligible for the Dean’s List, as S/U courses don’t count as a credit when it comes to the Dean’s List. Econ Professor Connel Fullenkamp says he hopes that the Dean’s List rule will eventually be changed, as students don’t get to choose whether or not they pass/fail the course—the only option is pass/fail. But let's not forget, that means you could get a C- and still pass. If we’re talkin’ cost/benefit analysis, that deal doesn’t sound too bad….

Ever Been Sick in Line at Urgent Care?
It’s quite possibly the worst experience imaginable. In addition to the pain of sitting in a waiting room for over an hour when you feel like you’re about to die, if you cough once, the employees make you put on a mask in front of everybody. Duke Health may have finally found a solution to your woes: virtual Urgent Care for your phone. Say whaaaat? The new app is available to anyone who is able to talk on the phone and is over 2 years of age. Because every 2-year-old we know is able to dial Urgent Care’s number and explain their symptoms over the phone. We digress. The app gives users 24/7 access to urgent care providers for common sicknesses, like sore throats and runny noses. The downside? Health insurance is not accepted via the app, so each virtual appointment costs $49. Have fun getting the 2-year-old on the phone to read you her credit card information at the end of the appointment.   


Another Lawsuit for Duke
Hey, that almost rhymes, in a very depressing way. This lawsuit comes from a Duke professor of medicine named Manal Abdelmalek, who has accused the University of gender and racial discrimination. Abdelmalek immigrated to the US from Egypt as a child and says that Duke Medical has historically favored men when it comes to promotions and compensations. She also says that white and male employees are often paid more than non-white and female employees, even if they have equal or better training and performance. That isn’t gonna fly. Apparently, Abdelmalek complained to Andrew Muir, professor of medicine and GI division chair in 2016, who basically told her that if she couldn’t adapt to the cultural norms at Duke, she should see herself out. Duke denies all of the accusations. We have a feeling this is going to be a verryyyy sticky situation. When we know more, you’ll know more.
Danny Dimes You’re A Dime
Let's just say Daniel Jones’ career is off to a good start. He threw and rushed his way to 362 yards, four touchdowns and no interceptions in his game Sunday to take down the Tampa Bay Buccaneers 32-31. Before halftime, the Giants were behind 18 points. Their comeback, led by Jones, marked their biggest comeback win since 1970. After that performance, there’s no doubt that Daniel Jones has locked in his place as a starter for the rest of the year. Keep doin' you, Danny.
 
Friday Night Lights
Duke is taking on Virginia Tech Friday under the lights for its ACC opener. The team isn’t exactly optimistic for what’s to come, given it has only won two of its last six ACC openers and hasn't beaten Virginia Tech since 2015. Sheesh. Its loss to the Hokies last season was largely thanks to QB Ryan Willis, who is the most experienced signal caller in the Coastal Division. The bad news? He’s back this year for his senior season. Shoot. But we have faith, and so should you. Let’s go Blue Devils!
 
Beat Those Demon Deacs
The Duke women’s soccer team is looking to crush Wake Forest to score their first ACC win of the season today. Their start to the ACC season has been pretty ‘bleh,’ with a 1-1 tie against NC State last Sunday. Wake also started its season off with a tie…but it was against No. 1 Virginia. So…that doesn’t bode too well for us. Dukies are gonna have to be prepared for the Demon Deacs' strong defense, which they showcased in their game against the Cavaliers last week. Let’s go ladies.
No Thanks to the Painting in Keohane
Admins just removed a painting titled, “Untitled 1” (artsy irony, of course) near the entrance of the Keohane 4B dormitory after student filed complaints via Fix My Campus. The painting was created by artist Joe Dobson in 2012, when many artists came to Duke to exhibit their graffiti techniques. According to students in the dorm, the painting gives them “unease” and unnecessary added stress to their already stressful lives. In their defense, seriously, imagine failing a math exam and then coming home to this freaky thing staring at you in the face. No thanks, Untitled 1.


Our Devils Are Actually Angels
…At least when it comes to climate change. Inspired by the week-long global climate change strike last week, the Duke Climate Coalition and Undergraduate Environmental Union hosted the Duke Climate Rally on the BC Plaza this past weekend. Participants carried signs and engaged in group chants and songs to attract a crowd. The main goal of the rally was to push students to engage in climate change issues, but the event’s organizers also worked on long-term solutions (we repeat, angels), including legislative petitioning, voter registration and letter writing. Be like Greta Thunberg—get out there and rally! 
Nasher lava cake is a MOOD!
  1. Chipotle for Tri Delta X St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital: Next Tuesday, October 1, come out to the Chipotle on Erwin road (near Duke Medical) to pick up a burrito or a bowl. 33% of the proceeds will go directly to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital to help beat childhood cancer!
  2. Karsh Alumni and Visitors Center Grand Opening: Come out to the grand opening of the newest building on campus, the Karsh Alumni and Visitors Center. There will be snacks, tours, and lots and lots of Dukies! 
  3. Queer AF Pride Dance Party: Come out to the Durham Fruit and Produce Co tomorrow at 10pm to dance to DJ Femi the Femme, DJ Queen Plz, and DJ VSPRTN. A $5 donnation is suggested at the door, but no one will be turned away for lack of funds. All donations go to the LGBTQ Center of Durham
  4. Puppy Project: Come out to Duke Wellness Center any Tuesday from 12 to 1 to play with puppies!! The Duke Canine Cognition Center needs help socializing their pups! 
  5. Pride: Durham, NC 2019: Pride Durham will be on Duke’s East Campus this year, from 10am to 10pm this Saturday, the 28th! Be there!
  6. This Taco Truck Kills Fascists: New Orleans-based performance activist Jose Torres-Tama has a dream: to create a revolutionary Taco Truck Theatre with a simple message: “No guacamole for immigrant haters”. Check out this film screening tonight at 7 at the Ruby Film Theater. 

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