View this email in your browser
November 29, 2018

It Has Been 5 Days Since Our Last “Racial Incident:”
This has really not been our month, you guys. Or our semester. In an alarming but also somehow not at all surprising turn of events, someone left stickers for a neo-Nazi group last week. A few days before that, someone also painted a swastika over the mural students painted in memory of the Tree of Life shooting victims. On the bus last week, an excited first-year who had not read the Chronicle yet that morning exclaimed, “wow, this is so cool!” when she saw the local reporters gathered in front of the East campus bridge tunnel, only to be silenced by an upperclassman’s shouted explanation from the front of the bus. Welcome to Duke! A number of people in close proximity to you hold some disgusting views, and there’s not much you can do about it because you don’t know who they are! Unless you do, in which case you should probably email The Chronicle! 

You Won’t Get Any Dancing Here, It’s Part of a Much Larger Social Problem:
I have been inside Shooters for a total of 30 minutes of my life, but I can confidently declare that the outsized space it occupies in Duke consciousness makes Kim Cates nothing short of a marketing genius. Unfortunately, Kim Cates is not also a resolving the systemic problem of sexual assault genius, and therein lies the problem. Students with the Duke Men’s Project, which you may remember from last year’s Fox News “kids these days are liberal snowflakes” fame, are organizing a boycott and PROTEST outside Shooters for next semester. I, personally, am excited to see how awkward it will be when students inevitably cross their classmates’ picket line, except I will not see it, because I’ll be asleep.

Finally, Some Good News… Oh, Actually, This is The Opposite Of That:
Not feeling paranoid enough yet? Maybe this will do it: last week, an undergraduate at Duke was admitted to the hospital with highly contagious and dangerous bacterial meningitis! This news item had me texting all my friends with paragraphs of Contagion-like global pandemic scenarios since it happened just as students were jetting off to destinations around the globe in extremely confined metal tubes of disease circulation (aka airplanes) for Thanksgiving. Fortunately my fears have not been borne out, since bacterial meningitis is not as contagious as something like cold or flu… but it’s still a great time for a Dirt public service announcement. Bacterial meningitis can be transmitted via airborne DROPLETS of your disgusting saliva and mucus, as I learned via frantic late-night WebMD research, so cover your mouth!!! 

Yes, Virginia, Gentrification Is Bad:
“Is gentrification really so bad?” you might ask yourself as you enjoy one of Durham’s dozen craft breweries and/or seven artisanal coffee shops and/or $2,000/month apartment. Turns out: yes! Literally 900 people each month face eviction filings in Durham, and it’s only getting worse. The law school has a clinic specifically dedicated to helping people defend themselves against eviction filings, and you should read about it.

Hoos Your Daddy?
Yes, I hate me for making that pun too. Duke men’s basketball beat Indiana in their game at home Tuesday night. I enjoyed reading this article just because Coach K talked about the DRAMA of it all! He explained that the team was insufficiently “fired up” at one point, and his main contribution to firing things up is taking off his jacket even though he’s “not a pretty sight to look at,” which, honestly, same!

Literally Where Even Is Gonzaga?
Duke men’s basketball beat Auburn last week at the semifinal of the Maui Invitational, but then they LOST against Gonzaga! Apparently although Williamson was “a monster on the glass,” (Aren’t basketball courts made of wood?) we still lost because the team “looked young,” which is also what my mom said about me after I cut my hair in a bob over Thanksgiving. Coach K also referred to some players as “our bigs,” which makes me feel like the team is actually a sorority and Coach K is a sophomore who just LOVES his new big. You should read these stories just to laugh at the inclusion of a “LAHAINA, Hawaii” dateline in ALL CAPS AND BOLD, to make sure you know that our sports reporters literally went to Hawaii for this game! I saw the Instagram posts already, MICHAEL! Anyway, stay tuned for The Dirt’s reporting trip to those weird hallways underneath the Bryan Center. Actually, there’s no story, I just like to hang out there sometimes!

Foooooot… baw...
Apparently, Duke did, like, really bad in their last regular season game of the year. The worst loss in 28 years! And no one came to the game! And the guys “weren’t juiced up!” Same! Coincidentally, I’ve started shouting “Duke was dead on arrival on a gloomy, rainy Senior Day” as I walk into class every morning, just to make sure everyone knows how I’m feeling and what the vibe is.

In A University Over The Sea:
If you, like me, were weirdly captivated by the uncanny valley-esque virtual reality aspect of the museum display about DKU in the first floor of Perkins, you should take a surprisingly engaing dive into DKU’s history here. This story’s got it all: China! A vast, empty field! A meeting in Venice! A nuclear physicist! Living in a hotel with your professors! Globalization! Academic freedom or a lack thereof! DKU was kind of an insane thing for Duke to do, but they really did it, and now here we are, reading this story.

Paint Me Like One of Your Duke Presidents:
If you feel like being stared at by images of several white men and one white woman while you work, then you probably frequent Duke’s Gothic Reading Room and have already noticed an addition: former President Brodhead’s shiny new portrait! Read our actually pretty fascinating interview with the guy who painted it. The buried lede is that the painter, Brodhead, and former U.S. president George W. Bush all went to Yale together and knew each other, which is… vaguely frightening to me because it’s a reminder that some of you all will be world leaders someday too! Please expect my blackmail letters in 30 years! You know who you are! Thanks!

  1. Free Samuel Phonathon: Join Duke Define American in calling our representatives to stop the deportation of Samuel Oliver-Bruno, a resident of Durham whose wife and son need him at home. Find out more at their table in the Bryan Center today 11-4!
  2. De Stress Fest: Chill out at the Arts Annex today at 5 pm with meditation, yoga, food, and painting!
  3. Afro/Asian Connections in the Local/Global South: The Duke Asian American Studies program Inaugural Conference is happening today and tomorrow in Smith Warehouse.
  4. Devils en Pointe presents: Excerpts from the Nutcracker: Watch classic ballet for free in the Ruby tomorrow night at 8 pm!
  5. Yule Ball: Duke University Quidditch is hosting a free semi-formal dance on Saturday night at 9 in Devil's Den!
To unsubscribe, email 

This email was sent to <<Email Address>>
why did I get this?    unsubscribe from this list    update subscription preferences
Duke Chronicle · 1517 Hull Avenue · Durham, NC 27705 · USA