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THE CHRONICLE
January 17, 2019

Eh, I’m Just Gonna STINF It
Well, now you can’t, since Duke no longer has STINF forms. Instead, they’ve replaced them with the Incapacitation Form and Policy. What makes it different than STINF, you may ask in a panicking tone? One difference is that the policy now limits students to submitting only 3 forms per semester. If a student tries to submit more than 3, they will be asked to contact their Academic Dean to help get accommodations for their incapacitation and help them organize their missed work. It’s probably also to monitor those students who STINF 5000 times per semester just ‘cause, but that’s just our speculation. Another important difference is that the form no longer specifies that the reason for incapacitation be physical, recognizing that incapacitation can also be mental. Welp, bye bye STINF. I think some people will REALLY miss you.

 
Uncle Sam Throwing Lottttts of Shade
To whom, you may ask? Greek life. Amid the rush process for frats and sororities that has been going on for the past week, many students have been posting photos on Instagram and Facebook, promoting students to go Greek. Other students, on the other hand, aren’t down for it. This became clear after a large print banner was hung under the stairs of WU (“The Brodhead Center,” for anyone who calls it that) with a picture of Uncle Sam that read, “I want you to help perpetuate sexism and racism at Duke! #RushGreekToday.” Like we said, lots of shade. The Duke Center for Activities and Events soon removed the poster, claiming that it could not remain hung up since it hadn’t  been through proper UCAE banner approval procedures. Who knew such a procedure existed, but we digress. Senior Matthew Conley, prez of the Interfraternity Council, acknowledged that there are some problems in Greek life and encouraged whoever designed the poster to come chat about their ideas.

SPONSORED: Get The Dirt's guide to career networking events (get an internship!)
We have the dirt on some opportunities that the Career Center offers to help out Duke students who are beginning their search for internships. Most notably, the Career Center is launching a new series of luncheons (heck yeah baby, food is involved) titled Culture and Connection events designed for students and employers to chat about diversity and inclusion in the workspace.

See Ya, Other Sam
Remember when protestors toppled Silent Sam, a Confederate monument on UNC’s campus in August? Well after that, UNC Chancellor Carol Folt and the Board of Trustees at UNC announced their plan to take the fallen Silent Sam out of storage to protect him in a facility on campus...and a pretty freakin’ pricey facility at that. Try $5.3 million. Let’s just say, people were pissed and began to protest. The plan to save Sam was then cancelled by the trustees for public safety reasons. The newest drama? Following these protests, Folt has decided to resign from her position at the end of the spring semester. Though the Board of Governors was shocked by her announcement, they then decided to push her resignation to be effective January 31st. As in, less than 15 days from now. So now, we guess it’s see ya Folt. As for Sam, plans with what to do with him will be announced in March.
 
Open Forum For ’Em
In an effort to increase transparency, the Board of Trustees just hosted its first open forum for the public. And we live streamed it, you’re welcome. At the forum, student and faculty members involved in committees on campus were invited to answer questions from the public about the work that the trustees do. The hope is that members of the Duke community will begin to feel like they know what the heck goes on in trustee meetings, which are now also summarized in a document at the end of each one. For some key takeaways from the last trustee meeting, click here and scroll down.

It’s Slating Szn
For the Duke Football team, and it’s looking a litttttle scary. The ACC just released the 2019 football schedule, and it’s looking like Duke will face one of its most challenging set of opponents in a while. We’re talking Alabama and Notre Dame, both of whom played in this season’s College Football Playoff. We’re cheering for you, DukeGang. Click here to check out the entire 2019 schedule. It’s never too early to start planning tailgates…
 
Syracuse Showdown
The Duke men’s basketball team matched up against Syracuse on Monday, but after a close battle, Syracuse came out on top with a final score of 95 to 91. Heart. Break. It definitely didn’t help that Cam Reddish, who led the Blue Devs to victory against Florida State on Saturday, got taken out right before the game for flu-like symptoms. Don’t be like Cam—get your flu shot.
 
Say My Onome
Seriously, this is a name you’ll wanna remember. Onome Akinbode-James, a freshmen from Abeokuto, Nigeria, is currently a starter on the Duke women’s basketball team who didn’t start playing basketball until she was 14 years old. Before a huge growth spurt during the summer after seventh grade, Akinbode-James was just a smart NARP, like the majority of us here at Duke. After her growth spurt, Akinbode-James was encouraged to try basketball. Although she almost quit after her first day, she stuck it out and rose through the Nigerian youth basketball ranks rapidly. She was recruited to a boarding school in New Jersey, and eventually found herself as a top-100 recruit. She was ultimately left to choose between Duke and Harvard. Take a guess who won…

K-Ville is Electric
Literally. DSG recently approved a Fix My Campus plan to create a shared tent in K-Ville equipped with a generator. DSG allocated $1,964 to allow the Fix My Campus group to set up the new shared tent space, which will make electricity available to all tenters. The new tent is not to be confused with the $3,200 “common room” tent which was approved by the Senate in December. That new “common room” tent will replace the one that was destroyed in last year’s fiasco during walk-up line. The new tent will be a 10 x 20 canopy tent with tables, chairs, and a generator that can charge up to 40 electronic devices. Pretttyyyy fancy. It will also have a “library setting" so tenters can actually do their homework during their month of tenting. And have phones that are functional. Hallelujah. 
 
Let’s Talk About Chicken Tenders
We’ve got your attention now, huh. Well, the new food truck that sits in a parking lot off of Main Street, called the Dankery (accurately named) is an absolute expert in chicken tendies, according to its owner, Ian Burris. The truck, which is open during prime Shooters-munchies time, from 9pm to 3am, is completely run through Instagram. The menu can be found on the truck’s insta page, and customers order by sliding into its DMs. All we can say is, recently Duke students can’t stop talking about the Dankery and its epic menu items, including Bull City steak-n-queso fries, over 20 flavors of rubs and sauces, fried shrimp sandwiches, wings, and more. Wanna order from the Dankery tonight? We might. The handle is: @shrimpandpastasdankery (we don’t really get it either, since they don't sell shrimp pasta, but we’ll roll with it).

 
Spring Breaaaaaaaak(through)
Remember when Duke began the new program, Spring Breakthrough? It’s the program that gives underclassmen the chance to take a 4-day long seminar of your choosing during spring break without the pressure of grades or exams—a truly foreign experience for anyone who goes to Duke (we’re just saying, the option to take a few classes pass/fail would be nice). Now, the program is open to all undergraduates, rather than just freshmen and sophomores. Juniors and seniors, that means you have the option to take a class on puppies for 4 days. If you wanna sign up, better hurry—the application closes tomorrow.

  1. Career & Summer Opportunities Fair: This fair is open to Duke undergraduate and graduate students from all majors and departments. Meet employers searching to fill internships and full-time positions. The event starts at 10am on January 24th at Wilson Recreation Center.
  2. A Masterclass in Iraqi Cuisine: Come out to The Chef’s Kitchen in WU next Wednesday to learn how to cook two traditional Iraqi recipes from Chef Umm Mustafa, a refugee from Iraq. Yummmmmmm.
  3. Durham Food Truck Rodeo: One of our favorite events. Head over to Durham Central Park next Sunday to eat lots of delish savory and sweet treats from food trucks around Durham.
  4. STEMixer 2019: Come on out to the Duke Women’s Center next Wednesday to speak with ~steminists~ in the Duke faculty who will share their successes, struggles, and passion as women in STEM!
  5. Coffee and Conversation at K-Ville: This Saturday, come out to K-Ville to begin celebrating MLK Day! The event will feature performances both from Me Too Monologues and Spoken Verb.
  6. Guided Sound Meditations in the Wellness Center: Feeling a little stressed amid add/drop period? Us too. Treat yourself to a guided meditation to relax more and worry less.
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