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Kathryn Gates practices couples and individual therapy in Downtown Austin. Contact her here.

Mindfulness (however trendy the term) is the most important component in making changes in a relationship. One can't change what she doesn't realize she is doing.

To meditate is to improve the ability to be mindful of, or conscious of, what is happening in the moment. The more mindful a person is, the more room they have to decide how to respond to what is going on.

When a person undertakes a meditation practice, he or she begins to more readily choose how they respond to a spouse, as opposed to unconsciously reacting based on emotion. 
Meditation alters the prefrontal cortex in the brain, allowing people to choose their behaviors - how they communicate with a spouse, how they behave in the midst of conflict, how able they are to be respectful when they are angry, etc. Couples can learn all the skills in the book about "good communication" and "fighting fair" but if they aren't able to be present enough to use them, what's the point?
Meditation makes this possible.

--> Think you aren't woo woo enough to meditate? Download a meditation app. like "Calm" or "Stop, Breathe & Think."

--> "Can't" meditate because your mind wanders too much?
That's the whole point.
Each time your mind wanders is another opportunity to practice bringing it back to focus on your breath (or a word, or sound) every single time. 
Expecting our brain not to think is like expecting our heart not to beat. It is going to. It is supposed to. Practice choosing what it will think about.

Please forward this to someone you wish were more mindful. 

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Our office is located at:
805 West Tenth Street
Suite 302
Austin, Texas 78701

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