I have COVID. Well, judging by my symptoms and the many positive cases that have popped up at work, I'm assuming I'm positive until the PCR I took 5 days ago says otherwise. It may just be a regular flu but I'll admit, it's been nice to be home long enough to rest and to do a bit of nothing and think on a bit of something. What annoyed me about it was that I was too drowsy to finish the Garnacha from Alto Moncayo that I brought home last week. Down the drain it went along with the 3 days of paid shifts that followed.

As of Dec 2021, it's officially been one year of Bacchus seasonal mailers and I'll be sending out a survey for subscribers only later this week. I have a new structure rolling out for the mailers (and Aanab) this year which is detailed below should you want to join if you're not a member already. As you all know by now, I'm always trying to improve the membership model and I feel that this approach is more integrated into all parts of my work and will lead to more collaborative, well-thought-out pieces for Aanab. Honestly, it is also just more sustainable for me.

Speaking of sustainability, let me address the elephant in the room/my head: the podcast. I haven't dedicated a block of time to edit the 2 episodes I'm sitting on. I know that the main thing stopping me is getting started but I also know that I'll need to be in a hole for 2 days straight to do it because I don't know how to edit in phases. Figuring out how to do that should be my mission for 2022. That, and actually getting this season finished.

Working at the wine shop has made me question my relationship with wine and careerism because I am now so removed from the culture that roped me into wine as a topic. I'm now selling wine as a commodity and it is so disconnected from the soul of the product and how I enjoy interacting with it that I might as well be selling laundry detergent (again). Lackluster, rat-wheel retail isn't very captivating when that's all it is. Despite having so many bottles in front of me, the job is transactional, and learning by memorizing pages in a book is the reason I abandoned medicine as a profession.

Since moving here, I've come to see the level with which people are betrothed to their professions as quite disheartening. When healthcare, rent, and/or access in different forms are on the line, you aren't able to consider more or even better. I miss learning experientially, meeting makers, and asking questions while wandering through vines. Interviewing people via Zoom doesn't feel the same and that might be why my podcast closet hasn't lured me inside. I miss that feeling of my boots sinking into the soil and I miss seeing things up close, not through a screen. I need to drive over to a Central Coast vineyard or get lost in a museum before I lose it.

I know that working on only B for Bacchus stuff while quarantined this week has been nourishing in a way. Clearly, I miss *this* kind of purpose. If only California wasn't so damn expensive to exist in.

When I changed the month at the top of this newsletter, it didn't seem real. Does it feel like a new year to anyone else? I keep seeing this practice amongst writers I enjoy: picking a word for the year. The point is to pick one word as your guiding force for the year ahead instead of making lofty resolutions or big plans. Using a word as your compass seems more realistic given that our lives are still a big bowl of dough. Mari Andrew's word for 2022 is "luscious" and mine is "self." What's yours?