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Worried about the impact of retirement on the relationship with your partner? You’re not alone! This issue of the Next in Life newsletter highlights concerns and desires articulated by people at a recent retirement planning webinar. Also featured here is the United Nations Global Report on Ageism. Let’s all get onboard for the Decade of Healthy Ageing that starts this year.

When interests don’t align

What are couples most worried about on the relationship front looking ahead to retirement? Getting enough alone time. With work, we can, in some measure, anticipate when and for how long we would be home alone. There is some psychological comfort, relief, in the knowing.

My husband complained that he felt like he was being kicked out of the house when I was at my wits end, needing time alone. Yet if he scheduled time away, even an hour, the tension would not build. A known time of solitude is gold!

Surely time apart from your partner is among the top challenges in these pandemic times! What strategies are you using to get time alone when you have nowhere to go?

After time alone, concern about different interests and priorities was a close second. Instead of “He said. She said.” – the classic divide when couples disagree – we now have “He wants. She wants.” Do you know the plans or dreams of your partner? Are they compatible with yours?

Not sure where to start figuring out your own priorities? Check in with yourself. What is important to you? The Next in Life values list may help. Values can and do change over time. Where are you at?

For support in creating a vision of what in next in your life, check out Next in Life services.

Freedom. Relaxation. Purpose. Do they mix?

Top words for retirement from people at a recent webinar were freedom and relaxation. And yet, what were they most worried about looking ahead to retirement? Having a sense of purpose.

How do freedom and relaxation line up with having a sense of purpose? My first reaction – beats me! But this got me wondering – what does it feel like if you have a sense of purpose?

Light! Freeing! These were words some people used to describe what it was like knowing their purpose. You know what you’re aiming for, why you’re doing what you do, which gives you freedom to say no to whatever doesn’t align with your purpose. And that helps you feel more relaxed.

By contrast, how does it feel to NOT have a sense of purpose? Heavy. Lost, underwhelmed, like something is missing. Stressed.

Whereas talking about your purpose(s), your “why,” may seem like a weighty topic, having a sense of purpose lifts the weight.

#AWorld4AllAges

One in two people are ageist against older people. Ouch!

The March 2021 UN Global Report on Ageism shines a spotlight on ageism and 2021 – 2030 is the Decade of Healthy Ageing aimed at improving the lives of older people, their families, and the communities in which they live.

Ageism refers to the stereotypes (how we think), prejudice (how we feel) and discrimination (how we act) directed towards people on the basis of their age.

But wait? It’s not only about older people! In Europe, the only region for which data is available, younger people report more perceived age discrimination than other age groups.

And it’s about how we perceive ourselves. Self-directed ageism occurs when ageism is internalized and turned against oneself.

You can find resources to help you do your bit combat ageism here.

“Conversations are like drops of water. Just as one drop of water can create countless ripples, one conversation can have countless effects on those involved and their networks.”

Let’s connect!

Talk to me! I want to hear your comments, stories, and feedback. You can do that through the newsletter, by emailing me at stefa@nextinlife.ca, or by connecting with me on LinkedIn. I generally post there twice a week raising awareness about the world needing people in the second half of life to do whatever they do best. By contrast, this newsletter will plop into your inbox once every two months. I look forward to hearing from you.

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Copyright © 2021 *Stefa Katamay, All rights reserved.


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